Ever since 14 June, I’ve been so restless. Countless worries. Heavy depression. No one knew. No one understands. I wished I have someone to talk to. At least someone to share my pain. None of them are in to listen to me. This letter which I never thought of starting but since its Taylors, I know i HAVE to. Taylors was the part I never thought off at all. The moment you went for the interview, I knew I’ll suffer so badly if you take it. In fact...I’m suffering every day. I thought you understood me. You said ‘ Even if i were to get it, I won’t take it’ . For a moment I felt assured and happy. Just too bad, you really took it. This moment I felt really sad. Not to say I’ve regrets for not saying USM. In fact...that night you had to make decision, I remembered very uber clearly that I said the sentence, I PREFER USM CAUSE ITS CHEAPER and BETTER. But still Taylors came first. On our outing, I asked what if USM is offering the same course, which would you take? You answer was still Taylors for both Mass com and Business admin. At that very exact moment. I already knew its hopeless. My heart and soul died. No matter how hard I try it’ll never gonna change your mind. Had a quite numerous arguement over this. The reason you chose Taylors was because of me. I’m the reason for everything to happen. Because I don’t like Mass Com. Because just to see me every week. I knew I have to prepare for the worst to come. This letter was partly because of what Darvin said. Expect the worst; you’ll never know what might happen. I knew i need to prepare. I need time. I faked my smile, I faked my happiness. I really don’t want to argue with you. I just want to live happily forever with you. But its no use being sad as I said. Everything it said, tried and done. I just don’t know why as long you’ve not entered Taylors I kept trying although I know it’s pointless. I feel like an idiot trying knowing it’ll never come true. If that’s how I gotta go through, let it go with the flow. I know while you’re reading this you’d be very mad at me. You’d say I don’t trust you. These kinds of place trust don’t play an important role. No matter how tough believing is, influence conquers them all. I really trust your love to me. I trust your sincerity. But it’s really easy to get influenced. What’s worst is when you said you’re money minded which scares me. I hope it’s not the money minded I thought of. I’ve never loved someone so badly till I’m so afraid of losing the person. I want to make sure there isn’t any chance or risk of losing the person. Taylors opened up a really huge impact on me. Your words few nights ago really pierced me. You told me to leave you alone tonight. Even Skype you had to just shut me down. I felt we really won’t last to tell you honestly. Mostly because of my selfishness and childishness. Easily 20 people in Taylors would be there for you. To comfort you. When I’m the reason to cause you angry in the first place. I dare not imagine or think the 3 years in Taylors. I think I’ve told you each time I see, hear, or think of the word Taylors, I’ll get sad. I just took it as a bipolar disorder although I know it’s not. We just got to live happily like we always do. Love , live and laugh. Let the fate brings our future as it was meant to be.
Bee, just if things don’t go the way it should be...Just tell me. Just tell me if you’ve like or fall for someone else. Please do tell me. I beg you to just tell me the truth. Just please don’t hide. Truth hurts but it’s just momentarily. Slow anxious answer kills me slowly. Its really suffering to just assume and not knowing the truth. I won’t mind or do anything I promise. Just tell me . I don’t want to be cheated as it’s my first. I want to know that girls at least tell the truth and not cheat. I hope if this ever happens, call me to the nearest coffee shop and confess it face to face with me. Tell the truth. Then all I would just ask for after that is just 3 days of your time with me. Be like normal for the next 3 days. Text me. Pretend how you loved and care for me before. Go for a movie with me. Eat with me. On the 3rd day at 1pm, I’ll text you the password for my final letter which is the last thing you’d ever see or get from me. The reason I choose 1pm is because that’s the time on our first movie. Tron. I’d then disappear from your life and you’d hear nothing of me. I will not make you guilty. I'll change my number, change name and even perhaps shift away. My final letter is strictly only IF we EVER breakup which I really hope we won’t ever lived to read that letter. I’m sorry if this hurt you, but I need you to really understand me that I want a really honest answer. I don’t want to be cheated is my main priority. BUT deep inside me I really trust you. It’s just something I hope to get the last of us if this ever happen. I love you forever and it’ll never change.
Link: http://www.mediafire.com/?62r4hv9666tutvp
This link here contains my final letter if we ever breakup. Its the last thing you'll ever see from me. I hope the count of download for this letter is 0
P.S: I know you’re very angry at me right now. I just hope you know that there are things I am being honest with you. My feelings. How I feel. Please don’t be angry with me. Its just a statement I want you to know about.
